I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
