did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
