I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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