I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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