If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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