Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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