P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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