I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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