I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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