I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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