I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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