if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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