i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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