More tranny stories later!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
