my vag is so smooth its legendary
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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