drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
