***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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