Soap is not a condiment
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
