my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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