i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
