You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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