I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
