Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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