I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
