he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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