Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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