Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
