It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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