Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
