i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
