my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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