I can tuck mytits in my pants
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
