You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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