scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
