so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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