But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
