Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
