God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
