Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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