Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
