yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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