so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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