i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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