She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
