I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
