I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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