wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she peed on how many people?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
