I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
