I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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