Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
