I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
