I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Randomize
