Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
