I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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