Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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