giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My feet surprised me
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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