she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
