I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
