the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
