i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
