also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
