Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just cropdusted the office
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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