There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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