And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
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Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
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the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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